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« #6: Peer Comments | Main | #9: Comments »

November 05, 2004

Comments

Nicole and Becca

Group Post #8
The post was overall an informative and to the point response. 
Your thesis was good in that the rest of the blog followed it, but it could have been reworded for better flow and clearer clarification.  The topic sentence of the second paragragh does not belong with the rest of the information in the paragragh. The conclusion was very brief and could have been more in depth.  The last sentence would be better understood if it used the word women instead of stating them and they.  The answer was well written gave a lot of useful information.

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